You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize