If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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