The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
