And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
