She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
