So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize