Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
