somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
