mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize