Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize