you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hello my rib-scented angel!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
