he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Michael Bay diarrhea
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
