Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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