There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
