We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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