Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
