Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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