I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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