While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
May the power of my ass compel you!!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
