seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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