So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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