So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
