Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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