i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
