Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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