thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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