just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
