Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Boobs are out for the taking
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize