You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
