i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
