i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
