4 words: hood of his car
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
