just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
