im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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