It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
