The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Even my vagina gasped.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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