the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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