I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
