I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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