Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
