that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize