his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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