I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
