There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Houston, we have a squirter
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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