if i can run in heels then i can drive
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Terrible idea I love it
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
