jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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