he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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