No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
