Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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