i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize