break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
