Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
