Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
