do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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