I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
