i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
