When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
