I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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