TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Sacagawea was the original milf.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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