Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
