He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
