Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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