why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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