we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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