My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
