I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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