That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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