vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize