I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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