was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
